The Rain Will Come

Surprisingly, a stark difference between Nairobi and my home is the weather. Texas is infamously known as the land of pre-summer, summer, post-summer, and Christmas. Kenya, on the other hand, has four distinct and predictable seasons: summer, winter, the long rains, and the short rains. Whereas Texas’ weather is seemingly erratic with its drastic temperature changes, huge thunderstorms, and indefinite droughts, Kenya’s seasons come and go with uncanny regularity. Right now, our visitation of the long rains is in full force—I have never seen so much water fall from the sky in such short amounts of time. Admittedly, a Texas thunderstorm may be more dramatic (and oh how I miss them!), but the deluges in which I find myself here are quite indescribable and incomparable.

"And after the storm, I run and run as the rains come, and I look up. I look up, on my knees and out of luck, I look up."

Just as our physical world has its distinct seasons, our spiritual world also has its own—seasons of rain and drought, and seasons of plenty and want. In these seasons I find myself rereading specific scriptures, reciting certain prayers, rehashing old conversations, reminding myself of God’s promises, and retaking what seem to be the same old steps towards my sanctification.

I have been in this season before. It is one in which I find myself panting for rather than partaking of the Well of Living Water. It is one in which I seem to find myself not understanding new revelations but rather relearning the old ones because I can’t seem to get them right. It is a season of physical and emotional weariness.  It is one in which I can’t really remember the last time life slowed down.  It is one in which it is far too easy to rationalize gratifying my flesh with my besetting sins than it is to live the new holy and righteous life that was purchased for me by the blood of Jesus Christ.

If that sounds like nonsense, it is because it is. If this sounds like a bunch of excuses, it is probably because they it is. If you think I should just man up, put on the full armor of God, and walk in the freedom, joy, and peace He has for me, it is because you are absolutely right. I am not trying to complain, justify my behavior, or make excuses—I am trying to be honest. And part of this honesty is acknowledging where I have been, where I am, and that God has mercifully and graciously drawn me back unto Him and shown me the way Home.

"Night has always pushed up day. You must know life to see decay. But I won't rot. I won't rot, not this mind and not this heart, I won't rot."

Like I said, this season is not new. When it comes—and it does come—I almost always turn to the book of Hosea. In it, I am Israel, who has forsaken YHWH and run instead to lifeless and loveless idols; I am Gomer, the adulteress whose freedom was purchased not once but twice by her faithful and forgiving husband; I am a mere man full of insecurities, fears, and sins unbeknownst to most but hauntingly familiar to me.

That is me, but God is God. He is unchangeable—He is not shaken or surprised by the so-called unpredictable seasons of my life. Instead, in His severe mercy, He promises to block my path to idols so that I will not find any satisfaction in my pursuit of them (2:5-8), expose my sin and allow for its natural consequences to come to pass so that I become desperate for Him again (2:9-13), and draw me nearer unto Himself with kindness, mercy, love, and tender compassion (2:14-23). When I return to my God and say, “We will never again say ‘Our gods’ to what our own hands have made,” he replies, “I will heal their waywardness and love them freely, for my anger has turned from them” (14:3-4).

It is in this moment that I remember who I really am: A child of God, the Bride of Christ, who has been justified but is still being sanctified, who is in this world but not of it, and who is striving to overcome the wiles of my former slave master by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony. In Him, there is no condemnation for me—only conviction. And in the proper response to this conviction, there is only forgiveness. And in that forgiveness, there is only intimacy. And this intimacy is never lacking in wonder, beauty, joy, or life. And in His embrace, I wonder why I ever left home in the first place.

"And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears."

Even now as I sit here, typing away underneath an outdoor canopy, it is raining all around me. In this moment, I rest assured, knowing that despite a season of self-induced drought, the rain He has promised will engulf me yet again. Because of this year in Kenya, I now know to expect the rain. It will come. And as I wait, I must, in the words of Hosea, sow for myself righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up my unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on me (10:12). 

The rain will come. And when it comes, it softens what was once hard, saturates what was once dry, and resurrects what was once dead. When God’s rain comes, there is no stopping it. It pours. It floods. It overwhelms. 

And it carries us away.

“Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence. Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.” 

– Hosea 6:1-3

Photo captions are lyrics from "After the Storm," written and performed by the one and only Mumford & Sons.

Four More Months

I just decided that writing these updates isn’t so difficult, but deciding where to begin is. The problem is either that God is accomplishing immense amounts of work at International Justice Mission Kenya and I don't know how to describe it all, or He is doing so much in me and I am not sure how comfortable I am posting that online for the world to see. At any rate, the month of March was a mix of these two scenarios and so I apologize upfront for the tardiness of this update.

Shops in Westlands, the Nairobi suburb in which I live.

I pray you had a reflective Lent, a meaningful Holy Week, and an indescribably joyous Easter Sunday. I am not entirely sure why, but this year’s reflections and celebrations on Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and, above all, Easter Sunday were, for me, full of so much meaning and many emotions. Perhaps I have fewer commitments and distractions here and I truly meditated more. 

I was particularly overcome with grief on Maundy Thursday when my boss gave the field office a half-day off work to collectively watch Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. I think my time with IJM Kenya and our casework dealing with police abuse and false imprisonment removed scales from my eyes and allowed me to barely enter Christ’s last day – his illegal arrest, unspeakable abuse, dehumanizing torture, baseless accusations, and the absolutely unjust murder of an absolutely innocent man. All of a sudden, I think I more fully understood what it means to have a high priest who can “sympathize with our weaknesses” (Hebrews 4:15), particularly those of our beautiful and needy clients. This revelation reinvigorated my confidence in His Gospel, and increased my faith to know that when we – IJM Kenya – bring our daily requests before Him, He not only hears our prayers, but He cares, understands, and always answers according to His good and perfect will.

Men like these barely survive by collecting and reselling used bottles.

As you recall, I finished my last update with a request for prayer for peace and security, as the Republic of Kenya was about to hold its presidential election on 4 March. Thank you for your prayers – they were answered. Although due to technical failures and manual recounts of votes it took nearly a week for the results to be announced, there was minimal violence and instead much patience despite the frustration. Despite the fact that the candidates and the election commission were in a legal battle before the Supreme Court for the rest of the month attempting to determine the legitimacy of the election process and outcome, violence was minimal, and, in most areas, non-existent. Despite the fact that the Supreme Court unanimously upheld the election results, the challenger graciously conceded, called for unity, and there was peace. You prayed, and God acted. Thank you.

God has also accomplished mighty acts through the tireless and courageous service of my coworkers – advocates, social workers, and investigators who dedicate extra hours, weekends, and holidays to see God’s justice come true for our desperate clients. In the past month, we publically announced our official partnership with the Government of Kenya’s Office of the Director of Public Prosecutions (ODPP), as we became the first non-governmental organization to sign a memorandum of understanding with the ODPP. One of my primary tasks during the end of 2012 and the beginning of this year was providing administrative support to my boss and the field office as this partnership was cemented and is strengthened.

As usual, God performed miracles in our child sexual assault (CSA) and police abuse of power (PAP) casework. There are several stories I cannot yet share in writing. However, I can joyously share that we saw a rapist receive life in prison, and his victim, a beautiful 11-year old girl, finally receive justice. Additionally, not two days ago we won a case by dismissing it for lack of evidence – consequently, 30 people were finally acquitted of false charges of arson and are now free. This is the largest single case we have won in our entire 12 years of existence in Nairobi. God is seemingly moving heaven and earth to ensure that scores of people finally receive His justice. One these is Joseph, a man who was falsely accused, illegally detained, and finally released through the advocacy of IJM Kenya. Read his story here and watch his story below.

Surprisingly, life is not all about my internship these days! At the end of February, I signed up to take the Law School Admission Test (LSAT) here in Nairobi on 11 June. Get this – out of the entire nation of Kenya, the Law School Admission Council’s only testing center is a ten-minute walk from my apartment. You can laugh at me calling that “God’s provision,” but I will anyways. Additionally, I am beginning the planning process for law and graduate school applications as well as applying for jobs in Washington, D.C., Dallas, Fort Worth, and Austin for the year between my return to the United States and the beginning of law and graduate school. Your prayers for insight for the LSAT and GRE, guidance for my school applications, and provision for employment would be highly appreciated.

In the midst of all of this simultaneous provision, preparation, and transition, I am doing well. I am thankful to have a job that usually gives me the faith, joy, and strength I need to return home and take care of apartment maintenance, bills, solitude, and this new, yet increasingly normal, life here. Our Father has blessed me with a wonderful community of friends with whom I volunteer on our church’s worship team and in a local youth development organization. I am so blessed by these people and their friendship, and many of us leave Kenya at the same time – in almost exactly four months.

Four more months. 

Can you believe it? I can’t either.

I’m nearing the homestretch, and I have a feeling this will be the most adventurous portion of the journey.

It's All About the Gospel

The commencement of oral arguments in Hollingsworth v. Perry before the Supreme Court of the United States was followed by a flood of Christian support for a federal redefinition of marriage to include same-sex couples. Fueled by the modern notions of equal rights, opportunity, and protection, and the honorable motivation for the love of Jesus to outdo seemingly endless and purposeless cultural wars, these Christians - fellow members of the Body of Christ, the Church Universal - seemed to forget the most foundational tenet of marriage. It is one that does not seek false security in man's newest form of reason, is not clouded by the overwhelming effect of charged emotions, and is not shifted by the ever-changing polls of popular opinion.

The core of marriage is unchangeable, unshakable, and unable to be redefined.

The core of marriage is the Gospel. 

It's all about the Gospel.

Human Rights Campaign's Red Equality logo went viral yesterday.

Christians are supposed to understand marriage as more than a political and legal contract - it is nothing more and nothing less than a spiritual covenant between one man, one woman, and God their Creator. It is in this institution the Father established in the Garden of Eden that we find an earthly, yet inherently spiritual, symbol of Jesus Christ's marriage to His Bride, the Church. Just as His marriage to the Church cannot be redefined, compromised, or nullified, neither should its beautiful representation be redefined, compromised, or nullified.

But these are not the points we hear many fellow Christians arguing. Instead, they either "defend" traditional marriage because, well, it's traditional (and even historical, logical, and biological!), or they support a redefinition including same-sex couples because, after all, marriage is merely a legal contract to formally commit to any person you truly love - a contract we can alter with the vote of a ballot or the vote of a court. I find neither presupposition for either argument substantive or persuasive, but that matters not in our postmodern world and, unfortunately, in our postmodern Church. However, the justification of marriage is not found merely in whether it is traditional, historical, logical, or even biological, but whether it is Biblical. At least, that's what the Church should believe.

The moment the Church removes the Gospel from marriage and instead relies on clever but artificial rationalistic arguments for its defense, it concedes to the flawed premises and plays by the arbitrary rules of those attempting to deconstruct marriage. It is in this moment that God's definition of marriage–a covenant of love between one man and one woman under and unto God symbolizing Christ's eternal covenant of love with His one Bride, the Church–becomes absolutely indefensible. The inevitable occurs–marriage is redefined. (Or, perhaps, it is more accurate to say that marriage is not actually redefined but our concept of it is.) Unfortunately, this deconstruction “logically” follows from the aforementioned thought experiment; for to the rationalist, God’s Word provides no justifiable support of or opposition to any position, and to the postmodern, nothing–including marriage–possesses inherent eternal meaning and value anyways.

Our present situation is clear evidence the Church is crippling itself, and the society it is called to enrich with salt and lead with light, by starving itself of the Gospel. Instead, the Body of Christ has been infected with this same godless rationalism which plagues our world and alienates us from the Creator of the Universe, His Son, His Spirit, and His Word. Once we finally diagnose this suicidal condition, it should be no surprise to the Church that we cannot eliminate these cultural and political symptoms by continually indulging in the disease. If the Church will not sow the truth of the Gospel, we cannot reap the fruit of the Gospel.

The only way to protect the beautiful, sacred, and Gospel-centered institution of marriage is not to merely win the argument at the ballot box or in the courts. Although such a "victory" would be pragmatic and convenient, it would ultimately be temporal and fail to bestow Christ's love to those with whom we disagree. The only way the Church will protect the sacredness of sexuality in general and marriage in particular, and advance the Kingdom of God, is by bowing our minds, hearts, and wills before our King and obeying His Word–not our finite reason, flawed emotions, or the fleeting popular opinion. Then, and only then, will our marriages, families, and communities reflect that Gospel.

With words eerily relevant to us today, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who challenged the German Church surrendering its own soul to godlessness, prophesied:

But it is not we who build. He builds the church. No human being builds the church but Christ alone. Whoever intends to build the church is surely well on the way to destroying it; for he will build a temple to idols without wishing or knowing it. We must confess–he builds. We must proclaim–he builds. We must pray to him–that he may build. We do not know his plan. We cannot see whether he is building or pulling down. It may be that the times which by human standards are times of collapse are for him the great times of construction. It may be that from a human point of view great times for the church are actually times of demolition. It is a great comfort which Christ gives to his church: "You confess, preach, bear witness to me, and I alone will build where it pleases me. Do not meddle in what is my province."  

Do what is given to you to do well and you have done enough. But do it well. Pay no heed to views and opinions, don’t ask for judgments, don’t always be calculating what will happen, don’t always be on the lookout for another refuge! Let the church remain the church! But church, confess, confess, confess! Christ alone is your Lord, from his grace alone can you live as you are. . . Whether the band of believers is great or small, low or high, weak or strong, if it confesses Christ the victory is assured to them, in eternity.  

Fear not, little flock, for it is my Father’s pleasure to give you the kingdom. Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. The city of God is built on a sure foundation. Amen.

Church, remain the Church! Confess, confess, confess.

Yes, defend marriage. But first, preach and live the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Then, and only then, will we ultimately protect God’s beautiful and unalterable reflection of His Gospel.

A Foretaste of Heaven

I stumbled upon my favorite rendition of one of my all-time favorite worship songs. I won't take the time to introduce it -- it speaks for itself. I will say every time I listen to it, I am overwhelmed by the presence of God. 

To me, it's a foretaste of Heaven.



How Great is Our God.

The God Who Performs Miracles

“Your ways, God, are holy. What god is as great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.”

Psalm 77:13-14

If there is anything I’ve learned here in Kenya, it’s that God performs miracles. The past few weeks since my last update are no exception. Work has been incredibly busy – our year started with a bang, with significant progress and unprecedented results in multiple cases (of which I can tell you more when the stories are published by IJM Headquarters), our new office was dedicated, and colleagues from IJM Headquarters visited to help us continue developing key projects with the Government of Kenya that are reshaping the public justice system. Simply put, God is accomplishing wonders – they would be unfathomable if they were not happening before my eyes. I am so humbled to witness it all.

I'll never get tired of my dining room view.

On top of all this, I had the privilege of taking an unexpected and short trip back to the United States. I had to leave East Africa before I could renew my visa, and through a bizarre set of circumstances involving tax returns I was not expecting and a flight voucher I did not realize my family owned, a trip back to the US was actually cheaper than almost any other option. So, I was blessed with a mini-vacation in Northern Virginia with friends at and around my alma mater, Patrick Henry College, and in Dallas-Fort Worth with my family (including my new soon-to-be brother-in-law!). Those ten days were incredibly refreshing physically and spiritually. Despite an extremely tight schedule of catching up with as many friends as possible, I was deeply encouraged by spending time with some of the people who have invested so much in and mean the most to me. I cannot begin to describe how grateful I am for the people God has placed in my life. I miss you all so much.

I'll be honest: I might miss Bella the most. Might.

Many of you have asked me what life in Kenya is like, and, honestly, it is a difficult question to answer simply and quickly. As I thought about it more in the States, I decided the best way I can describe what life is like here is to say that although I know God is always working in our lives, it is sometimes difficult to see it every seemingly-average day; however, I am blessed to live in a place and work at an organization where He is blatantly working miracles nearly every single day. Sure, there are slow days. Sure, there are hard days. However, the very fact that IJM is in Kenya and is successfully protecting sexually assaulted children and defending men and women who have been falsely imprisoned is a miracle. Honestly, that means every day is a miracle. And it is amazing to be here and watch it all happen.

Lake Chew Bahr and surrounding mountains in Ethiopia, from 38,000 feet, en route from Addis Ababa to Nairobi.

This assurance that our God is the God who saves and performs miracles resurrects, refines, and reaffirms my faith. It gives me confidence that He is faithful and I am never alone.  He sees everything, cares, and works everything out for my good and His glory.

With this confidence, I ask for your prayers, specifically for the entire nation of Kenya as we hold the general election on 4 March – in less than two days. This is Kenya’s first general election since the infamous 2007 election, which was followed by unprecedented post-election violence in which over 1,500 people were killed and over 600,000 people were displaced from their homes. Since then, the government has been restructured and a new constitution was ratified in 2010. The country has been healing and is incredibly stronger and more unified now.

We are hopeful for peace, security, and stability, however some of the influential factors of the violence in 2007 – tribalism and corruption – still exist and have been joined with others – Al-Shabaab terrorism, resulting xenophobia to Somalis, instability with mandated refugee relocations, and the front runner and his running mate facing an April trial at the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity, which allegedly occurred during the 2007 post-election violence.

This year, the pre-election transparency, security, and efficiency are certainly promising, but the unknown post-election possibilities ranging from absolute stability to total chaos are, frankly, a bit discomforting. We are prepared for the worst – I am in a secure location, receiving updates from the US embassy and have multiple contingency plans – but we hope for the best. Our entire office, joined by several IJM offices around the world, has been praying every day for over a month, asking God to intervene this Monday and in the days following. 

I believe He will.

When Mumford & Sons ("Hopeless Wanderer") and the Central Kenya horizon collide.

Thank you so much for joining me in prayer. I will do my best to keep you updated, and look forward to giving you a good report in the coming days. In the meantime, let’s reaffirm our faith and hope in our God. 

After all, He’s the only God who performs miracles.